JoeG and the Absessic Creature

The sun rose over the city in a bright and cloudless sky. JoeG has a perfect skyline view from 507-1. Our young champion has been unshaken in the face of a fiend who had him by the throat. Today he had another battle with the fierce pixy-women who like to poke and prod with their sticky pins so they can suck the life force of their victims. Over a night and early morning our hero found triumph in his battle with the Absessic creature. Those who watched the battle from the lines feared the creature had the upper hand over the night. It called away for it's reENTforcements but they were already fighting other battles far far away.
Now our hero battle worn and sore has won. Today he will leave the Servants of the Old St. Agnes Order for the comfort and familiarity of his native homeland to continue healing. The order will send him from them full in belly, pleasant in heart and less sore in body. A balm to heal his wounds in hand, peace has fallen over our hero and his land. Fini.

How Shall I Compare Thee

Son, You are the river
Following the path of
Least Resistence

River you are a strong
Torrent. Your burden
Is heavy but your Joy
Makes you light.

You pick up the loads
Carry them down the
Stream using them to
Carve your magnetic
Magical magnificent
Place in this world.

Daughter You are the Ant
You build your fortress
Through the large obstacles

Ant your heart is light
Since your love is deep.
Your burden is Fairness,
Justice is on your side.

You are loyal
Devoted and strong.
You are a mover and a
Shaker and you draw up
Electrifying plans with
Enigmatic Effervesance.
I hope your dreams come true.

Little bitty baby one
You are the sparrow
With your own life sound track

Sparrow your beak opens
Waiting for the essence of
Life to be dropped in and
Added to your wonder.

You are the quiet loud one
Your potential is greater than
The size of your wing span.
Time does your bidding it.
Holding it's breath it waited for
Your dazzling, dramatic, debut
As always You do not leave a
Dissappointed audience ever.

Oh that I could be that again the
River that flows
Ant that builds
Sparrow that sings and soars
My youth to you.

Words to walk by.

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. --John F. Kennedy

I had to post this quote that I found reading another site. Everyone has heard this phrase or the like there of at least once in their lives. This philosophy resonates throughout life. I used to hear my parents say "Show me, don't tell me." Others might say "Actions speak louder than words." In religious circles I've heard, "Walk the talk." It's a lesson we strive to live out before our children because to simply say it and not live it would negate it. Some people seem to be able to do this almost naturally. I seem to need constant self-evaluation. It's almost the type of thing you don't really know success in until you look back on your life and realize you did okay.

As an adult there are times when follow through is still really hard to do. Sure it's easy to follow through on small committments here and there, but to follow through on long term goals, deeply held convictions or long held dreams well, wow, that's the sticking point, isn't it? JFK is stressing character and gratitude in his version of this lesson. To live out gratitude, and appreciation is no less hard than these other things. How do you live gratitude? How does one live appreciation? I know people who live gratitude, but while I can live optimistically and can't seem to put my finger on how they live gratuitously. Honesty is easier lived for some than others while humility is strangely illusive since just as you trust to grab it pride sweeps it a tad farther away.

It certainly boils down to a need for a well built character rich in discipline, evaluation, and adjustment to keep the train on the track. It's a lesson I still need reminding in as I struggle to turn my writing spotlight from myself and shine it on others in my life apart from myself. I guess time on here will tell if I actually begin to live shining the light on others.

Sonny Side of Life

My son and first born child has always had the best sense of humor. His laughter as a child was contagious. He had this shaking laugh that he would do when he was excited about something. We couldn't do anything but grin when he would do it. (His lil'est sister shares the same laugh). He garnered tons of attention as a baby with huge and intense blue eyes.

Lately he's grown into a very helpful and responsible young boy. He takes very good care of lil'est sister and can be trusted to stay alone for a short time if I run an errand. He askes when he knows Nanna's around but working in her office to stay home from grocery errands and such. He's mostly alone since he knows Nana will not fulfill requests for entertainment.

His greatest pride has been lego creations that are made from combinations of basic and complex kits. He will usually put together a set once he gets it, and if it has differing combinations he may do a couple of variations, but once those are complete destruction and imagination take over. It took him a while to see that he could build whatever his mind imagined with just a little effort. Some of his favorite builds include homes and all-terrain vehicles. Characters no matter what set they come from always have a roll to play.

"We haven't done school."

I over heard GK talking to a long time friend. They were having a discussion about the kids in the neighborhood not being home the day before Thanksgiving because they were at school. GK's friend said, "I'm glad we're not at school right now." This was the morning after a giggle filled and late night sleep over. GK replied to her friend, "Yeah we don't 'do school'." They both giggled, and GK elaborated that we really hadn't done any school in weeks. My jaw dropped. I'm always flabberghasted when they say these things to other people because I'm more concerned how they take them, than what they really mean to the children.

They can say it to other homeschoolers and those families get what the kids mean. Let them say it to a store clerk, and watch the bank teller's, cashier's, doctor's, mechanic's, anyone's eyes twitch. They *blink, blink* like they didn't hear right. I can hear their eye lids clap together they do it so hard, and this ticker tape of "should I call someone" starts running in LED's behind their forhead. I have to quickly cover their words with profuse explaination before the squad cars and caseworkers show up. You know they have those buttons under the counters now right next to the robber buttons. They installed those when the practice of taking the child in hand behind the nearest clothing rack became taboo.

It is a true statement that we haven't "schooled" the children in several weeks since beginning to prepare for this move. But that doesnt mean they haven't learned anything. For one they've learned that Mom is not the only resource for what to do when one is bored. Secondly they've learned that they really do not want to play game boys for 8 hours straight, and especially not at 11pm when hours worth of effort end in missing the boat (game specific). They are learning their own limits.

I used to think children didn't have limits on certain things, and that I had to impose limits to keep them from hurting themselves. A belly ache after 5 slices of pumkin pie is something one can recover from, and that same someone will decline 3rds or 4ths or 5ths the next time around.

Unposted parts, I'd have loved to keep in.

....Many days I'm going from one thing to another with no pause in between. ie packing a box, retaping one that's been opened, helping the 2 yr old get milk so she doesnt try to pour it herself, not getting there to help in time and then helping to clean up a milk flood, mediating a disagreement about how many save levels one game boy game has so GK or J doesnt erase someone's saved game, and problem solving why a soda/vinegar rocket car wasn't working as anticipated, washing dishes left over from supper the previous night (no dishwasher leads to periodic avoidance of dishes), refeeding the kitty because lil GM has decided the cat would prefer milk in her kibbles, needing to scoop the litter box but that will have to wait since I still haven't made breakfast and its 10:30 am. Crimeny!!!.....

.....I tease myself that I like children until they can talk. But the truth of the matter is that fulfilling the needs of a baby is so much easier than fulfillng the needs of a more complex individual such as a child of reasoning age. I was only beginning to "get" my big kids when I decided I wanted another baby. Oh I wouldn't change that decision for all the world!!! But I actually miss the other two kids. Before the baby came I was just hanging with dd and ds and I said to them "I wish I'd had you guys for friends when I was a kid, because y'all are really fun." Heck I have em now and they're fun, but also a bit of work too....

....My right brain says everything will be different when we get back to being our own family, in our own space in Michigan. We won't be as stressed by Maryland's political woes. We wont just let things lie we'll take care of them right away. No one will be bored because we'll have so much to explore. My left brain says "all this--until the newness wears off, and the snow is 8 feet deep and the sweet new house has become a prison after 4 months indoors. Right brain says but..but...but...we'll go outside, and Left brain who knows RB best says "SUURE! when hades is as cold as Michigan." Right brain says "It's a new slate, it's a new yard, and here's a list of the all the fun things I want to do." Left brain says, "You like making lists, but I don't like using them, and we better buy snow suits." Right brain says "we can do crafts, and new grocery stores will be an adventure." Left brain says, "please don't let them cut paper into small bits that I have to clean up, and we saw those grocery stores they look just like the ones we visit now." Lest you laugh, my brain really does have these coversations. You might can guess which side wrote that one post--the seething post. Actually I think they may have written that one together. Who's to say. OH GOSH, what do I do if my right brain is an unschooler and my left brain is a schooler?...

They Took Note that They Had Been With Jesus

I found this passage from the bible on another site.

The next day the rulers, elders and teachers of the law met... When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus. But since they could see the man who had been healed standing there with them, there was nothing they could say. Acts 4: 5-14 NIV

Peter and John were fishermen and uneducated in the sense that they had no formal training in religion or other philosophies or sciences of that time. But they had been with our Lord. He had prenticed them with his walk and by his stories. Even in Jesus' time there were no schools as they are here in modern times. Egyptians had a form of schooling for boys in the upper class, and the Jewish boys also had a type of Hebrew school as they do today for those who might become Rabbis. I guess you could call it more of a Rabbinical school than a Hebrew school since the kids would have already spoken Hebrew.

Learned, educated people have not always come from a traditional schooling background. Today there is more to learn than ever. It's almost like children who are interested in science need more science than anything else to keep up with current world standards. Which is why I think unschooling may be the ticket. A child who's bent is in art can build their skills from the earliest age through their own desire and have as many years as they desire to practice their skills and turn it towards a rewarding future of their choosing. Other subjects while necessary in some applications can take second chair and support what the child learns in the area of greatest interest.

I talked a bit with the pastor of our church plant. I told him I'd gone looking for scripture references that would speak to whether or not unschooling was a biblical option and that I'd found two instances where people used scripture out of context to support their view points. He reminded me that the bible is not a guidebook, a parenting book or a magic 8 ball. He told me the bible is a narrative. It tells us the story of how God related to people in their own time within the realms of their cultural norms. Like the fact that child sacrifices were once a normal part of a society. He reminded me that Jesus taught his disciples and other followers in different ways. Sometimes His lessons were purposeful, and sometimes He was aware enough of his surrounding and/or a certain situation that He could use it to relate to people about God and Himself in an impromptu fashion. Thanks for the insight James.

Christian Unschooling Oxymoron

I've recently been exploring unschooling as an option for my children. So I joined an unschooling group. What I found there was what seems to be absolutism, and humanism. The way I live is wrong absolutely. This does not happen everytime I post there, but my post became chided and criticized, and twisted from what I originally meant to serve what someone else felt was right. I've yet to get the kind of feed back I was hoping for. I would have appreciated a more open minded look at things. On the other hand when I looked for Christian unschooling--thinking that perhaps my moral beliefs were inhibiting me from seeing and really understanding what these families were saying--I was slapped with my bible. I found in one instance, which I'm going to address here, that scriptures were quoted which seemed to lean towards a way of educating our children. However, I felt that perhaps the interpretation was taken too literal in one area. The post I'm going to quote and write on was written by Theresa White, and may be visited by a link at the end of this post.

"Isaiah 28:9ff "Whom shall he teach knowledge? And whom shall he make to understand doctrine? Them that are weaned from the milk, and drawn from the breasts. For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little." My unschooling acquaintances advocate letting that child discover truths for himself, and only those truths he chooses to discover. Yet clearly we are to teach our children from the time of their weaning, and to teach them concept upon concept, precept upon precept, building from one level to the next."

I have found it true that unschoolers do seek to allow their children choice in knowledge discovery. Yet the bible verse is taken out of context. When you look at the whole of Isaiah 28, you can get a more vivid picture of what is being said. This verse is about the Lord's judgement over Israel who has defiled itself. It is about how God's judgement will come against the Israelites who have allowed themselves to be governed by the "wreath on the head of the fertile valley-" wine and beer. The NIV shows the quoted passage as a question. Who is God trying to teach? Is he teaching the babes who've just been weaned? I see a sort of sarcasm in these words. 'Am I talking to babies? Do they need constant reiteration as children to do and do and do, or have rules upon rules?' Isaiah 28:11-13 continues thusly: "Very well then, with foreign lips and strange tongues God will speak to this people, 12 to whom he said, "This is the resting place, let the weary rest"; and, "This is the place of repose"— but they would not listen. 13 So then, the word of the LORD to them will become: Do and do, do and do, rule on rule, rule on rule; a little here, a little there—so that they will go and fall backward, be injured and snared and captured." This passage had nothing to do with children and how they should be taught.

Here again is another passage that seems to back up the author's point "Deut 6:7 "And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up."
Notice that it does not say "Provide a stimulating atmosphere filled with the things you want them to learn, or that they are interested in." TEACH THEM DILIGENTLY (diligently = characterized by steady, earnest, and energetic effort : painstaking). Is not that the opposite of the unschooling definition?' "

Let me first say here are two definitions I've found on the internet (first two in the search results) for the word diligent.

• quietly and steadily persevering especially in detail or exactness; "a diligent (or patient) worker"
• characterized by care and perseverance in carrying out tasks; "a diligent detective investigates all clues"; "a diligent search of the files"

Teaching them diligently does not mean inculcating. Unschoolers though they do not say they teach, rather they use the word facilitate, they do in a sense teach/mentor. It seems to me, that they use discussions, debates, and stories to help their children "learn" things. The difference is that there is no force to learn a particular doctrine unless the child has interest in said subject.

What I have found in my own children to be true is that they do express interest in the things they see me interested in. They are interested in my faith because through discussion I express it to them. Hopefully they are also interested because I live it unhypocritically before them. (Though of late I feel this is not so much the case.) Then if they ask questions I answer them, and even read the bible to them if they ask me to. They attend church with us because they are not old enough to stay home by themselves mostly because we the adults are following a command to fellowship with our brothers and sisters in Christ. Not because they must be taught to love and know Jesus. Eventually the children will need to make a choice concerning their faith in Christ anyhow. My hope is that they will freely choose to be followers of Jesus. They'll only choose that if they see that my walk, and my faith is something to be desired and chosen. There are people all over the world today who chose to leave Christianity because they were inculcated by unforgiving unmerciful doctrines. They were spoon fed Jesus, cajoled to keep Jesus, and were made to feel less than human if they had doubts or questions. That will not be the case for our children.

I am not professing to be a Christian unschooler. I actually consider myself to be a relaxed home educating . There are subjects I do expect a certain degree of work in. I guess I just did not like that Ms. White was using scripture to put down an entire movement or to pigeon hole a large group of people. Is it a true statement that there are non-believers in the movement? Yes. Is it a true statement that many of those within the movement are humanistic? I'm sure. However it is unfair and unfounded to say that unschooling is mutually exclusive of Christianity and vice versus. It is also unfair to use scripture out of the context in which it was intended.

If anyone is interested in reading Ms. White's full argument you may visit it here.

Money Lessons

A fellow home educator left a post on another site where she said her daughter wanted to go to school or a boarding school. She said her daughter had tried school once before and they sacrificed 5000 tuition for her to go only to have her leave again. That she made a huge investment of money and time and to only "try" something blows my mind. I don't mean that critically. She said "But at the time I was just so relieved that she wasn't going, even the five thousand dollars seemed a small price to pay for her leaving that system."

This idea scares me personally. I'll tell you why. We tell our children that they are allowed to try new things, but if we pay money (any amount of money) for them to participate we expect them to see it through to the end. We do not expect them to continue after a session or season has ended if they do not want to go further. Of course if a class, or activity they chose seemed to be harming them or that a person teaching the class/activity was harming them they would be removed post haste.

We do this because we want them to understand the value of the money we work so hard to bring in. When we were first married my husband said "I really want this stereo, but I'll have to work 22 hours to pay for it." So if my husband works for 45 hours to pay for a dance class we expect to either be reimbursed what our child did not use or that our DD learn that she will have to choose to work for 45 hours in dance to make our investment in her a worth while endeavor. I understand we all make mistakes, and I have no intention forcing a child to become a prima ballerina if that is not her natural bent. The lessons I hope my children learn are that we desired to be valued for the investment we make in their lives, and that we work hard to do so; I hope they learn perserverance (sp) for when they make mistakes they will have to travel the long road as adults through the consequences of their choices. They also must learn that while our love, and desire for their happiness is unconditional, our wallet will not be held hostage to their whims.

Just recently they had a very hard lesson to learn. Because we are moving we close out their passbook savings. They insisted they wanted to have control over this money, and after carefully warning them that I would not replace that money, lost, stolen, ill-used or otherwise, they took their money. They went to the video game store with their father and purchase a couple of games they really wanted. Fine no problem. They had a bit left over and I suggested the squirrel it away for the little stands and gift shops, and roadside stores that we'll see on our move. Well the neighbors were having a little yard sale next door. They asked and said "I do not think you should buy anything from them because what you buy we'll have to move, and there is nothing there you really need." My children ignored wise counsel anyhow and bought items from the family. Those neighbors cheated my children out of $15.00 total. I was HOT!!! I regained 5 of it out of the sheer insanity of the price and the plain idiotic disregard they seemed to have for both my children and myself. YOU do not sell one stinking toy to a child at a yard sale for 5.00 bucks. But I kept that money from them, and as to the other 10, my husband was party to that lack of thought so I let that go. Now my children have 2 bags, one of which was free to the neighbor courtesy of your loving and giving ciggarette company.

I tell you I will be glad to be rid of that lot!!! Lord love em and save em. I did not know how to approach them, but we desired to be kindly and avoided being judgemental. In the end I had to judge the fruit of their family's actions and disassociate. I have to live next to them for now, and I have a call to love them--though I do feel hurt and betrayed, but i do not have to trust them anymore.

Daddy's Home!!!

Yea! We're always happy when our handsome man strides in through the door. It was the day of our 13th wedding anniversary when darling husband boarded the plane for a business trip. Tomorrow is his birthday. Happy Anniversary and Birthday my beautiful man. If I could wisk you away to some dreamy far off place I would love to just sit and be next to you in nothing but warm sweet breezes and a hamock, and your computer of course :-).

In colder climes our wedding anny is a chilly brisk day. But on the day we were married the sun shone bright and warm. Nothing and no one but you was the focus of my attention. In fact I remember little more than your face. Pictures are memories of things I paid no attention to. I remember our first 5 years. How sweet it is to look back on how we spent our time together. Thirteen years, and many more to go. There isn't one person on this planet other than you who could make me feel whole and complete, safe and warm the way only you can. In thirteen short years we've come to share so many things that we never thought our lives would possess. You mean so much to me. I would say yes, again, and again, and again.
Love you my sweet man! Happy Anniversary, and Happy Birthday!

Unabler

I had plans to go to the Farmer's Market in Catonsville at the community center and to the library. I figured better early than never with the book return. But I got so comfortable this morning just surfing the blogs I normally visit that I stayed tuned in. I read a blog by a woman who must have been reading my mind because I was really looking for what she had to say. The gist of it is that she always get accused of being an enabler. People say they think she's enabling her kids. Most of us read/hear "enabling" with a negative connotive ear (bear with me). So she went on to explain that to her this is a really good thing. From her unschooling perspective enabling her children means she's allowing them the freedom to be themselves and to seek and learn and discover things for themselves. But she also said how people thought she ought to allow her kids natural consequences and that by enabling them she was denying them this opportunity to learn. So for example if she asked them if they wanted a coat on a chilly morning and they turned her down, she'd just pack it away into the car in the event they changed their minds. Other's would say, leave the coat at home and the kids learn to take the coat when it is offered to them. This has been my thinking to the present.

But there is a flaw in the logic of allowing natural consequences. It takes away grace and mercy. Look at God's example, He knows what is best for us even as we deny it and yet does not leave it up on a hook as a passed up opportunity. Before God there is always opportunity to turn and say LORD! I have not done as you commanded, and/or I have shunned what you provided for me out of my ignorance. Then by grace and mercy we are restored. We can trust the Lord in this every single time. If I leave that coat on the hook as "well they'll learn" then my heart is in the wrong place. I can leave the coat on the hook for them to change their minds, provided we're not leaving the house. If I leave that coat at home, when I know it's best for them, and I don't have it for them when they come to ask for it (obviously acknowledging my wise counsel) then I am not doing my job as a parent acting as Christ did. Consequently they can not trust me to care for their needs when as children they most need it. Not only that, but a coat at home is not a natural consequence. Swimming in a leech infested pond afterwarnings to refrain, and coming up covered with little black blood sucking ucky things is definitely natural consequences. The attitude is different. The pond owner would probably do everything in their power to deter you, even tying you to a tree if he actually knew you planned to go against his warning. His heart would be in the right place even if yours wasn't. So if you got untied and jumped in anyway, well you better bet that naturally there'd be consequences.

The other flaw to natural consequences thinking is this: I live in the reality of many chances. Few things are offered to me that I cannot find again in some other way, but I teach our children the law of no second chances.

So let me come around to why this revelation is so important to me. It is important because I have disabled my children, and separated them from me. They can no longer trust that I will provide. For example my DD and DS would get up well before me and fix their own breakfasts often leaving a mess in their wake. So I started making terrific breakfasts when I got up and refused it to them because they'd already had breakfast. Of course this is upsetting to them and they would say I didn't know you were going to cook that. I would reply that they were told not to eat before we got up, and yet they would still disobey us. Not able to think of another way to keep them from gorging and destroying before I got up this is the method I referred to. Then DD got the point and stopped eating early, at which time I stopped fixing larger fun breakfasts and she would wait for me to cook. Then she would end up not eating at all because I hadn't cooked. So she only learned that I wasn't available to make food for her. I should have continued to make breakfast--even if not large--at least a family affair, but I didn't. Now she's back to the old habits because she couldn't trust that I'd do right by her.

This is just one example, but it happens quite a lot. I'm struggling to find my way through this trial. I should have asked them back to clean up their mess and allowed them to continue in self-reliance instead of emotionally manipulating them to behave as I desired. I could have even warned them ahead of time that a large breakfast was due the next day. In a way I disabled my children.

On a less sour note DD and I had a nice time drawing together this afternoon. She wanted to learn perspective drawing, and so I showed her some different things about drawing in perspective. It was a nice time together, and we both enjoyed it.

I'm ever evovling my thinking.

New Adventure

We have arrived at the event horizon of a new adventure. It is now steady as she goes all the way to Michigan. We're procrastinating on the packing as we love to do in this family! But my goal up to this point has been 2 boxes packed a day. Now I know that just isn't going to cut it.

It's time to get the kids involved--here my head begins to ache. I know they will sacrifice nothing for this move. Not even semi-precious McD's toys are up for file 13. According to them anyhow. As far as their education is concerned, well we're following the unschooling ideology for a short month. This pretty much means that I'm hands off teaching, no lesson plans, no tests, no due by's. If they want to learn about something then we'll check out a library book. This means weekly trips to a place that really does not like me to show my face. Honestly. I can see the look of "we wont see that book for another year," fly across their faces and they smile like I didn't see what they thought! Steve has banned me taking videos. I guess one $90.00 late return fee in a year is really enough to put a man off taking out even the most educationally sound movies. Add to all this field trips (the cheap kind), and we've got a nicely rounded education.

I have dreams about how I want life to be as soon as we enter our new lives, in a new home, in a new neighborhood, in a new city, in a whole new state. It's rather like the dance of the sugar plum fairies all sweet and dainty. The reality I know is another thing altogether. But I can avoid, really I can. Okay, so I'm already stressing about the best place for things. I'm a space planning pro, and it's not like we have to paint right away. But I dont' get how we keep amassing this stuff and where will I put it all. We give stuff away, throw stuff away, and yet I still find more!!!I'm trying to avoid those thoughts altogether. I need Martha Stewart to do this for me. She had her whole staff move her. Do they get over time for that?

The kids asked about visiting Nanny and Granddaddy. I told them we would try to go in October, but we weren't able to afford to go. Now they're expecting to go, and this is generally the best time of year, and the usual time of year. We so want to go down and give hugs and visit, but it really isn't in the cards right now. If y'all get around to reading this, we miss y'all and love y'all and we will see you soon as we can. I have a plan. Hugs and many blessing. L