Money Lessons

A fellow home educator left a post on another site where she said her daughter wanted to go to school or a boarding school. She said her daughter had tried school once before and they sacrificed 5000 tuition for her to go only to have her leave again. That she made a huge investment of money and time and to only "try" something blows my mind. I don't mean that critically. She said "But at the time I was just so relieved that she wasn't going, even the five thousand dollars seemed a small price to pay for her leaving that system."

This idea scares me personally. I'll tell you why. We tell our children that they are allowed to try new things, but if we pay money (any amount of money) for them to participate we expect them to see it through to the end. We do not expect them to continue after a session or season has ended if they do not want to go further. Of course if a class, or activity they chose seemed to be harming them or that a person teaching the class/activity was harming them they would be removed post haste.

We do this because we want them to understand the value of the money we work so hard to bring in. When we were first married my husband said "I really want this stereo, but I'll have to work 22 hours to pay for it." So if my husband works for 45 hours to pay for a dance class we expect to either be reimbursed what our child did not use or that our DD learn that she will have to choose to work for 45 hours in dance to make our investment in her a worth while endeavor. I understand we all make mistakes, and I have no intention forcing a child to become a prima ballerina if that is not her natural bent. The lessons I hope my children learn are that we desired to be valued for the investment we make in their lives, and that we work hard to do so; I hope they learn perserverance (sp) for when they make mistakes they will have to travel the long road as adults through the consequences of their choices. They also must learn that while our love, and desire for their happiness is unconditional, our wallet will not be held hostage to their whims.

Just recently they had a very hard lesson to learn. Because we are moving we close out their passbook savings. They insisted they wanted to have control over this money, and after carefully warning them that I would not replace that money, lost, stolen, ill-used or otherwise, they took their money. They went to the video game store with their father and purchase a couple of games they really wanted. Fine no problem. They had a bit left over and I suggested the squirrel it away for the little stands and gift shops, and roadside stores that we'll see on our move. Well the neighbors were having a little yard sale next door. They asked and said "I do not think you should buy anything from them because what you buy we'll have to move, and there is nothing there you really need." My children ignored wise counsel anyhow and bought items from the family. Those neighbors cheated my children out of $15.00 total. I was HOT!!! I regained 5 of it out of the sheer insanity of the price and the plain idiotic disregard they seemed to have for both my children and myself. YOU do not sell one stinking toy to a child at a yard sale for 5.00 bucks. But I kept that money from them, and as to the other 10, my husband was party to that lack of thought so I let that go. Now my children have 2 bags, one of which was free to the neighbor courtesy of your loving and giving ciggarette company.

I tell you I will be glad to be rid of that lot!!! Lord love em and save em. I did not know how to approach them, but we desired to be kindly and avoided being judgemental. In the end I had to judge the fruit of their family's actions and disassociate. I have to live next to them for now, and I have a call to love them--though I do feel hurt and betrayed, but i do not have to trust them anymore.